She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
