the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
