no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A bitchslap is in order.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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