So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What a dumb baby whore.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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