we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Randomize
