bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
