is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
