I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
