Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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