Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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