I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
