so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well I can't set my house on fire every night
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
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Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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