So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
