I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
