They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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