So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
