I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize