If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.