And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.