take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
