Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dicks are not precious.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT