Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.