I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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