I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
