3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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