Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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