That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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