I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
