so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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