38 yer olds are good kisserssss
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
