i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
