You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize