You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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