Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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