so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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