There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
operation harelip BJ is a go
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
