He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize