remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
