I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
