I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
