I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
