..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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