First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it's like iHOP with fire
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
