if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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