her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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