I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
