Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
