wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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