So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
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What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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