you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
