i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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