Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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