he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
