I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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