Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
