You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize