So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
