i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
