how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize