I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize