just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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