I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
