Im at strip club and am horny
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
