I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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