Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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