Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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