porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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