So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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