I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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